JUDGE NOT; LESS YOU BE JUDGED

My hard and intense anger … as I watched Senator Ted Kennedy take communion … was not at the senator. It was at the cameraman and (if given permission) at that person also; to be in a Sunday Mass … in the middle of a segment on some news show … just to get that action on tape … and show it … over and over and over; as happened for several weeks, on and off.
I know that only a mortal sin, not repented, can send us to h??l. But as I learned in catechism … there are 3 rules to committing a mortal sin.
First, you must have the knowledge that the action is a mortal sin.
Second, you must not care that your are sinning and putting more nails into our LORD, Jesus Christ … and may be leading others to commit the same sin. (That makes two sins; slander being the second)
And … THIRD … YOU DO NOT CARE WHAT THE MAGISTERIAM SAYS … YOU DO AS YOU PLEASE … NO MATTER WHAT THE CASE MAY BE … BECAUSE YOU ‘WANT TO DO IT’.
As I watched last night and today … and all the accolades to his memory and to his memorable public life … I came to the conclusion … HE HAD HIS BELIEF; PRO-CHOICE AND PRO-WOMEN’S RIGHTS.
Now let me say here, my husband goes to Mass on Saturday morning. That is a whole ‘nuther story, but I debated with several folks … ‘leave him alone; he is tete’ dur (hard headed) and you will not change his mind’. I remember at a Sunday morning mass, I man that I did not especially like but tolerated his word exchanges with me, to do as Jesus said ‘love thy neighbor’. This man … when he asked me ‘where is your side kick’ … I answered ‘he only goes to Mass on Saturday morning’. To my shocking surprise … he said ‘well, at least he goes sometimes’. That was the same words I used to quiet those who scolded HL often. And some just kept on; and on; and on … one being a priest and one being a religious brother. He continues to do as he pleases … and to me … because he believes … if you can go on Saturday night; why not morning.
Hearing all the things said about the senator, he had to be a very likable person. Funny things; pleasant memories; sad occasions; fighting for his country in the military and then in Congress for 47 years … still a senator at his death. Even Republicans spoke highly of him.
I have seen a bumper sticker that read ‘you cannot be Catholic and pro-choice’.
SOOOOOO … what if he felt deep in his heart, mind and soul … that women had so little rights that every man … young, old, rich, poor; hard working or lazy; even criminals have rights.
So what if he felt in his heart, mind and soul … that abortion was a woman’s right. I have no doubt in my mind that his mama would not approve of that … but then, who am I to say that is correct.
Sooooo, as the nation mourns the passing of yet another Kennedy icon and patriarch … I ponder over and prayed much for his soul … in the past few days.
I know little about Vicki; she did live in Crowley, LA (although I am not sure she was born there) and her father was a well known judge.
I know more about her now; not just from the things said about her … but JUST BY THE FACT … THAT SHE INSISTED THAT JOAN (TED’S FIRST WIFE) AND MOTHER OF SOME OF HIS CHILDREN … COME TO THE SERVICE. I saw several blondes that favored her, but none had their names flashed on screen.
So … judge not … that ye shall not be judged. I think that is from the Old Testament; but do not quote me on that. I recognize lots of scripture but cannot pin point it … when I really need to.
I wish Vicki a long and loving life … with her children, his children and all the extended family. Jean is the only child of Rose and Joe left. And so many of their children had dramatic and horrific deaths. At least, Ted died … knowing for over a year, that the brain cancer would eventually ‘do him in’ … but it is my understanding that he was pleasant to the end. Not that he did not fight … a valiant fight … for with his wealth … he could afford the best of medical care.
The priest that led the Mass said ‘it was a privilege to be with him and Vicki in these last days.
May his soul rest in peace; and may our Father God, our Sweet Jesus and the Holy Spirit … the Blessed Holy Trinity … and the communion of saints … welcome him into his Heavenly home.

I HAVE BEEN THINKING AGAIN; OHE, MY

Yep, with feeling so bad; only thing on this old body that gets regular exercise is these typing fingers ... unless I have to go into another room for something ... like make a sandwich or cook some egg beaters (like today) for breakfast for the next week or so. It says 15 servings ... so that should make it that long. And sometimes, I even sit in my kitchen rolling chair and sweep and/or mop.

SOME OF MY THINKING ... HAS BEEN ... PUT YOUR DAILY WHOOOOOOOES IN THE BLOG ... THEN IF SOMEONE IS INTERESTED ... THEY CAN ALL READ IT HERE INSTEAD OF ... MY HAVING TO SEND MULTIPLE NOTES. NOW, I WILL SEND A NOTE FOR THIS ONE; AND MAYBE THE NEXT ONE ... BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE ALL THE NEWS YET FROM THE MEDICAL TESTS. **BUT FROM THEN ON, YOU WILL HAVE TO COMMIT TO FOLLOW AND GET THE AUTO-NOTE OR JUST COME OVER HERE WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT.**

To start out, my FBS has been quite good for the past 4 months and Dr was 'proud of your kidney function numbers' in April. HUH???? I knew they do a liver function every April ... but 'kidney' ... from blood work; huh.
WELL, this time when the phone call came, it was 'fbs and ac1 are much better' ... yep, figgered that. 'But Dr has set you up for a kidney ultrasound for tomorrow (WED) at 1pm'. I DO NOT THINK SO. I seldom leave the house (even since after that 8am mass when the Rav was like an oven ... so am watching Mass on EWTN every day). And that beautiful rendition of Divine Mercy Chaplet (3pm EDT). And then the Rosary for Life.
I did not say anything to Carla, but kept thinking; no way. So called the hospital and they could fit me in on Thursday at 9am. Good; went to write it on medical appointments calendar; and told HL what I was doing. NOPE! His nurse practiciner for urology clinic had called; he had an 8:30 appointment. SOOOO, called back Jennifer ... and she said 'sure, no problem; that is Friday, 9pm.'
Now ... not getting off subject (promise, will connect below) ... I have 3 chairs that I sit in mostly; rolling and swiveling desk chair that I am now in. Then there is the recliner; just rocks and swevels; and then there is the nightmare chair ... an armless old desk chair that I use at the table and am afraid of ... so I brace it against the cabinet and sit, then pull myself to the table, about 18 inches.
About 3 weeks ago, this chair I am in ... moved as I started to sit ... and I fell on my knees (neither are good, but not in tooooooo much pain, I managed to pull myself up on a desk which I fell near. HL was not at home.
When I saw the dr on Tuesday, he explained that a lot of things could have made the change in the kidney function test since April; probably the most responsible was ... heat exhaustion. Besides that one Mass at 8am ... I went to a funeral of a dear friend ... and parked in the shade. Then to Kroger, for my b/p med ... that I had one left in the bottle. And then home to pack in ice. Don't ask; it ain't prrrruuuttttyyyy; but it works

And I had taken my lasix on Monday as usual, before the blood work; and I told him about the two bad heat exhaustion cases. So many things could be going on; he patted my knee and said 'not to worry; we will get to the bottom of this.'
The heat exhaustion cases ... probably 15 or 20 since August 2008, which put me in ER for a 4 hour IV drip of saline solution to re-hydrate me ... and since, I just took lukewarm to cool showers and then drank a ton of water.

OK! So to tie in the third chair; recliner that rocks and swivels. I seldom swivel; so just do not pay it any mind. Wednesday, I was supposed to be sitting down to do the Rosary ... and ... Whooooooooppppps!!! Swilved; the chair went one way (north) and I went the other (southeast) and against the table next to my recliner. Must have made quite a noise (me or the bump; or both) because HL came a running. By then, I was sitting up and trying to pull myself up on the long couch; no wheels; no swivels; no rocking; just steady old friendly couch.
HL had a fit; 'what happened' and wanted to call son-in-law from next door. I was almost on my knee by then, but had some pain; but I knew he had no business trying to help me. Help me, anyway, he did; and what was best for him. Pushing me on the right shoulder as I was on my left knee and trying to pull myself up by holding on to the back of the couch.
We got it done. And he wanted me to go to the ER. I had no new pain ... so decided to just rub it with pain reliver and take two Aleve. I even forgot to say my nightly prayers (sorry, Jesus and BVM) and we both went to bed.
Boy, was I glad that I did not have to leave the house the next morning; and in fact, went back to be about an hour after taking my meds and eating. I do not take noon meds ... so HL just peaked in on me a couple of times ... and I slept until almost supper time. >>>I thought ... there goes the night's rest.<<<
I ate my supper after sitting in a lukewarm shower for quite a while and took my meds and went to bed. I think I even beat HL with the snoring.
Thursday, was real sore ... and had a bruse about the size of my thumb on my right side by my rib. Again, glad that I had no place to go. After breakfast, back to bed. Now, if you know me well, you know ... I rather rest in my recliner than go to bed during the day because if I do sleep, I usually cannot sleep most of the night. But a new med to help me sleep ... got a workout that night.
Friday, got to the hospital for the ultrasound about 50 minutes early. I had brought my walker with the seat ... just in case there were not empty seats. When I realized that it was 12 minutes to 9 (my appointment time) and at least two folks that came in after me ... were called ... I ask 'why was I being passed by'. They did not figure that out ... but I was called next. When I rose from my walker chair ... my legs were asleep (first clue; had not felt that, sitting down.) Again, they crumbled under me ... but HL and a post was near by ... as well as the lady that was going to admit me ... so I just slumped a little; they put my walker in the walking position; and off we went ... about 5 feet. ;-}
Got admitted; got the test done; got back in the cool Rav that HL had seen to ... was not a 500 degree oven ... and home and right to bed.
By now, I am getting tired of all this ... falling; almost falling; going to bed during the day; getting up 5 or more times during the night (they told me to drink a lot of water). So I am just praying ... that lack of liquids is my problem; and I may have to be put on a different blood pressure med. I told one lady that if I am this unstable, what will it be WHEN I GET OLD. She looked at me ... funny; 'cause she had already seen on my wrist band that I am nearly 73.
Pray for me and HL. He is doing dishes right now; because I cannot ... and ... I JUST CANNOT SEEM TO TEACH HIM TO COOK IN THE MICROWAVE. I DO MY BACON AND HAMBURGER PATTIES THERE ... AND WEINERS WHEN I HAVE THEM ... NOT OFTEN; and all the TV dinners and pot pies. The only thing that I eat that cannot be cooked there is Eggbeaters; and I cook a pot full that lasts for several days. Don't ask about veggies; that is a whole 'nuther story. Yuck!!
Merci for listening and for the prayers. Am praying for all of you also.
DIEU TE BENISSE!!! GOD BLESS!!! Je t'aime, me

I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT LATELY ...

And … that is much safer for folks that are around me a lot; me putting my brain in gear before I start spouting nonsense/gibberish/anger/etc.

When a couple of weeks ago, Thelma (HL’s sis-in-law) who was like a sister to me for over 50 years … was found dead one morning … I was numb. It seemed … even at the viewing … where she looked like she was sleeping … it was sur-real.

If you know me on the praying lists or spiritual discussion groups, you know I was having many health issues since August 2008. I was going to see Ricki who was still in the Care Center in DeQuincy … and sometimes I would cook some of his favorite foods. While in LSU/Shreveport … he ate very little ‘real food’ … although jello and pudding did go down OK. He had a tube in his throat for over 3 months … during all those surgeries he had … trying to get rid of the MRSA bacteria AND his throat was more than sore.

When I would go to DeQuincy alone; he would ask me to stay until he had to leave the room to do therapy of some kind. I did so … thanking our Sweet Jesus for his life and my being able to spend so much time with him … but …

When I would get in the RAV … it was like an oven. I suffered (in just one week) 2 bouts of heat exhaustion; the first put me in the ER for a few hours, getting an IV drip to re-hydrate me. The second one … I recognized the symptoms … and packed in ice after a cold shower … and drank lots of water.

Just before Thelma died … I started having body jerks in my torso and shoulders; no pain, just jerks that woke me up … and kept me up; sometimes walking the floor, just not to get back in bed … to jerk some more. And then my hands would shake all day.

Thelma and my cousin, Jessie Mae in Redmond WA told me that my body was finally telling my mind … to get some much needed rest. Yeah, right, I thought.

It got so bad that I did go to the doctor; smart young man … and right away … said ‘well, you had a lot of stress in the past few years … and your body is telling you to slow down’. WHAT; Thelma and JM were right. Of course, we pray a lot … but even the Cajun Traiteur prayers did not seem to help. Doc said ‘take a diazepam every night about an hour before you go to bed’. I DID; AND HAD 4 GREAT AND RESTFUL NIGHTS … and then they found Thelma dead.

My night that day … was bad, I thought; and I took another pill … because it had been over 8 hours … and allowed. I got up late … on the day of the viewing, finding out that we could go to the funeral home around 5 pm. So I rested some … here in front of the computer … and some in the living room; then took a shower to get ready to leave the house. HL told me ‘I do not want to go’. That was a shock.

But the next thing he told me … was more than a shock; it was a shocker.

Our local paper will put the name of a person in a square … with age and funeral home in charge. Well, Ms. Mobile phone lady friend called HL for the schedule of events … WHEN SHE COULD HAVE READ IT IN THE PAPER THE NEXT DAY.

When he told me that … I could not speak for a few seconds. Then I said ‘I certainly hope you told her that was none of her business (Thelma and her daughter, Shirley did not like this woman for what she had put me through for 3 years of talking to HL … every day and sometimes … more than once.) He told me he gave her the event times.

Here is where my mouth spouted (well, kinda shouted) words without my brain even being involved. ‘If she shows up while I am there, I will try to remove her from the building (said a little less than a shout) … (and him interrupting with … ‘not your business’) … (I went on … louder) … I will try to remover her from the building … quietly. If she refuses … you will see … not World War 3 nor 4 … but 5 and 6 combined’. And then I headed out the back door.

He said ‘I thought you did not feel like driving’ … and I reminded him that once I got on the highway in front of our house … it was a straight shot … about 4 miles to the edge of town and the funeral home. He said ‘wait; let me get dressed’.

We stayed about 45 minutes … and I wanted to stay for the rosary. He kept grunting and changing the position he was sitting in … so I finally agreed to leave. The next morning … we could be there from 8 am to noon … and then the church at 1 pm.

He would not go to the funeral home; and did not want to go to the cemetery.

Again, I thought … for him … because of his pain, I would do it his way.

That night between the viewing and funeral … my body was constantly jerking. Walking around … sitting in my recliner … up, down; up, down; nothing seemed to work … so when it was time for me to take another pill, I did … but it took over 2 hours to stop the jerking and let me get some sleep.

Now all this time … until yesterday … I blamed that really bad night on HL and his lady friend talking on the phone. She had been told a couple of years ago to stop calling … but she kept on. She was married to a cousin of mine … but he had died. But several close relatives in his family had died after him … and she called with the news … knowing that we get the local paper … and did not need her to give us any of the information.

But today … after the sudden idea popped into my mind; I realized … actually about
2 am … that it was not the phone call; it was the time I missed with my family … Thelma’s children, daughter-in-law, grandchildren … and even great-grandchildren.

That time can never be brought back to me. I mourn for my dear sister … who had a hard life … and I am sure she is with our Sweet Jesus or well on her way. But I also mourn for the missing … minutes; hours; days … that I will never be able to claim again.

My health has steadily improved since that time; even my fasting blood sugar readings have been good … and I am driving again. I thank every one who prayed for me … and know that is the largest part of my getting well. Doc did his part; but JESUS IS THE GREAT HEALER. This blog entry has brought me peace in my mind and heart. I hope to never get into that kind of health issue again.

I do want to say to our daughter … Faye (Sissy to many of you) and her daughter, Annie … who were there for me … and I found out a couple of days ago that Annie was afraid I was having a mental breakdown. Ohe, my sweet and Darling granddaughter … your prayers are always precious to me … knowing that … at one time … you found it hard to pray … and wanted to take all the blame for Jesus on the cross.

When our little Layla gets… here (sometime around June 25) we will again … be the 4 ladies on the road. Annie used to call us that when my mother was alive and we traveled to see her… or she was here … and then we did a lot of visiting.

Je t’aime … and DIEU TE BENISSE!!! GOD BLESS!!! Merci for your prayers. Macile

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Still reading it over and over ... and

Yes, I did; read it over and over; and since most of my blog entries are ad-lib, I have not changed a thing. Sometimes, I wish I had said something differently ... but then ... it would be planned ... calculated ... perfect English (instead of some Cajun slang thrown in) ... and as I told one person years ago ... I like writing like I talk ... it is just 'more me' that way.

Ricki ordered those small McD hamburgers again toda ... and really enjoyed them and the fries. I ... on the other hand ... ate his roast beef (so tender ... it could have just been inhaled, almost. And I love those school house buns. Yep, I made a small sandwich ... but ate the cornbread dressing also. Then just the protein ... well, the tomato and pickle too ... of my grilled chicken (half of a half of a breast ... yep, not a repeated ... really was a half of half of a breast ;-)

HL was not feeling good at all ... so I drove; and we only stayed about an hour. But Ricki is so much more clear headed now ... and everything we talk about makes a lot of sense. We were just filling in the blanks for him for the first few days in DeQuincy.

I often prayed that he not remember some of the things they did to him ... and did not do for him as he asked ... and ... GOD IS GOOD ... ALWAYS; AND IN ALL WAYS. He does ask if certain things really happened ... or did he dream it ... and most of it is real, although maybe a bit cloudy ... and we answer all his questions truthly. Would not want him to believe that those memories are fantasy. We wish we could help other folks in that ICU who are not being treated right ... physically. One thing is ... the medical treatments are the best to be had ... if the staff 'of the day' is in the mood to work with the patient. Certain nurses were so dedicated ... and others were so lazy and unconcerned. I always say 'if you do not like sick folks, do not go into the medical field' ... and ... 'if you do not like kids, do not become a teacher'.

My vertigo is better so I will be heading off to Mass in a few. Hope all of you had a pleasant and peaceful weekend ... and ... >>>unhappy that I am not in Kansas City today ... but ... IN GOD'S TIME; I am sure Sissy and I will get there eventually.

Je t'aime ... and ... DIEU TE BENISSE!!! GOD BLESS!!! Macile JESUS, I trust in YOU!!!

I am gonna try to write with my heart today ... but

the visit to see Ricki and bring him some home cooked food ... is just so new in my mind, I may not get this done. I have so many things that I want to say; but to me ... it sounds like I am trying to second guess GOD ... or even take control.

The saying 'let go and let GOD' is one motto that I try to live by; but fail so often ... it puts me to wandering ... 'why say it, if you are not going to do it'. An awesome lady that I know (and finally got to meet in June) ... mostly closes her blog entries with ... 'striving to be perfect; knowing that will only come as we reach our heavenly home with Jesus'. Now, do not quote me; it does not seem to be 'just right' as she says it ... but that sentence relays her feelings, I do believe.

There are so many feelings around Ricki; like only driving 30 minutes or so ... and Voila ... there he is. He is right next to an outside door ... and so we do not have to go through the front ... and all the activities going on; and it is a long walk for both HL and me.

My first impression of the building (and the shape it is in) was 'a smelly old nursing home' ... and 'how can they help him here, when that huge and clean hospital could not'? But that changed as soon as we met the Director of Nursing, the Wound Care Nursing director, and a few of the aids that are helping ... getting him cleaned up and the wounds treated and new banadages put on.

That is a good and gracious bunch of folks. They (when in the room with him and working on him) have him and only him on their minds. And he assured us, when none of them were listening ... 'they are so much more kinder and caring than at LSU'. Praise GOD!

And they are ... changing the dressing and putting on more anti-biotic cream on the wound near his tailbone ... TWICE A DAY; and his chest ... ONCE A DAY. AWESOME!!! LSU did them each ... once a week. Ohe, GOD ... why??? Again searching for answers ... rather than praying with 'an attitude of gratitude' that he is now is such good hands.

And he just called; worried about how hard this 'going almost every day' is for his dad and me; not only physically but emotionally. Like I told him; 'it may sink in later ... but right now, we are just so elated to have him close by'; and he thrives on company. Riley was there today with Trudy and ... she and her pawpaw ... got to play.

I am going to put this aside for now. And I may even edit ... or ... delete ... later when things fix better in my heart and mind. DIEU TE BENISSE!!!

A LONG TIME BETWEEN ENTRIES

I did not realize it has been that long (April 16, it says) but our lives have been in such an uproar ... between HL's pain management; Ricki (still in ICU in Shreveport ... and that is a hard trip ... Sissy and I make in one day ... when HL is with us ... we stayed 3 ... each of the 2 times); Sissy trying to get all the laborers in line to finish the house ... and she and I went to the wedding in CA of my deceased sister's granddaughter. All that has been like a whirlwind.
Soooo ... just keep reading ... and visit the pages of my friends who blog also, mostly spiritually; and I will try to get back on schedule soon.
Funny thing is ... I have been reading and commenting on the blogs of those friends (mostly members of the stjames224 group) and so it feels like I have STILL been talking to all of you.
Merci for the prayers ... and come back soooooon.

UNCALLED FOR; AMBULANCE AND COP CARS

About a couple of months ago in the daytime, HL came toward the house from our pond ... which is only about 9 acres away ... but with a couple of curves and plenty of weeds, you cannot see the house until you are about 4 acres closer. As he rounded the last curve, he saw an ambulance at our front door, with the lights going ... but no siren and rushed to see what was going on. >>>It was when I had vertigo so bad.<<<
Two EMTs were in the cab, doing paper work on a clipboard. Our front door was closed, but from my computer room, I cannot see the driveway, much less who was at the front door. However, they assured them that they had NOT knocked yet. ***Good thing it was not an urgent 911 call.*** So then he had to go to the back door; maybe a minute more than if the front door was unlocked. He came in, slamming the door and hollering for me.
Imagine his surprise when I was looking into the kitchen ... and he can see me after about 4 or 5 steps toward the sink. I could not 'figger' out what all the hallow-ba-looooo was.
Well, I was on line; so no one could have used my internet line to dial out. They were satisfied with seeing me ... and knowing there was no emergency. But they claimed the call came from 3187 ... and that was impossible, we assured them
Now, on Monday night (4/15; around 1:30 am); BAM, BAM, BAM ... AND ... it was NOT Emeril. HL said 'be quiet' and took his pistol and went into the living room. BAM, BAM AND BAMBAMMMMM. They were determined to wake someone.
He said 'who is it?' and as the voice came back 'sheriff dept' ... I saw one of them step up on the bottom step and could see his patch on his shirt sleeve. I could also see the legs of one of them on the porch. I told HL that ... so he opened the door slightly, with his pistol hanging down at his side, but where it could be seen. Needless to say, he was being cautious; but still, wanted to be ready if the voice outside was lying. >>>They could have prevented all that anxiety by having their whirling lights on ... but only had on their headlights and there were 3 guys ... each in their own car. 'What is the emergency' was from the guy on the porch.
HL said 'I do not know what you are talking about.' About that time, someone saw the gun in his hand at the same time that he realized the uniforms and the cars were real.
The guy on the porch said 'I do not blame you; I would not have opened my door without my gun in hand.' They chatted a bit; 'do you have a computer' ... and I explained ... a laptop that I always turn off ... and since I get into several bank accounts (all with the padlock; but I am still leary about this new fangled gadgets) I always unplug the phone line. ;-) Yep, I do.
Sooooooooo your guess is as good as mine. We still do not know why or how that phone call was made. HL thinks it was our address but in Westlake (70669 instead of our 70663 because we get their mail and they get ours). Sissy and I think it was one of the many computers under the communication tower. Will probably never know. But if it happens again, I am going to be a lotttttttt more curious ... and ask a lot of questions.
For now; GOD IS GOOD ... ALWAYS; AND IN ALL WAYS. (Yes, we both thought it was bad news about Ricki or one of his boys [Daniel works nights] ... we praise our Sweet Jesus ... that it was just a glitizzzzz in some machine. DIEU TE BENISSE!!!