DID YOU EVER WONDER ... WHY ME, LORD???

I was sitting, my head hung low, asking 'why me' ... 'for so long' ... and it came to me; almost as a whisper ... instead of just a thought.
I must confess ... that I have never had the 'reverant devotion' to the Mass and Eucharist ... that I see in so many folks. We have one man that goes to 10:30 Mass every Sunday. He lives with his aged mother (she attends also) and a grandson they are raising (he attends also and is a server as is his granddad). This man kneels on both knees with his head bowed, before entering the pew. His hands are always ... palms together and straight up; none of this half way for him. He is a member of a group of men, that say a 'spiritual' rosary at funerals. They pray; sing; reflect on scriptual; sing; pray ... and end with 'Gentle Woman'. It is an amazing and awesome service to attend.
Now, for me. The past few days, I have been almost 'normal' in the late afternoon. Just wobbly but no dizzzzzzieness ... and with some energy.
But today ... is a day ... that Dr. S told me to wean myself off the patch. 'It is only a temporary thing; not meant to wear forever'. Ooooooooopss!!! Could it be a subliminal suggestion? It has been about 2 hours, and I am slightly dizzy, more nauseated ... and almost crying.
I am thinking ... this 'cross' as Esther said 'is probably some lesson I should learn'. Yep, bet Jesus wants me to have more reverant devotion to HIM in the sacrement of Eucharist. I am not even thinking (ohe, yes, I am) of how much fun ... old red legs ... is having with me. >>>GO AWAY, DEVIL/SATAN/EVIL ONE<<< Now, say it out loud. That is what Sissy does.
Well, HL just shouted 'dinner is served' ... he barbarqued and even made the potato salad. Yucks, just thinking about it makes me ... ??????? Am going to try though to keep some of it down. He is trying hard to keep normal in all of this.
DIEU TE BENISSE!!! PRAY FOR ME. Merci. xxxooo